101 Tips For Living

My favorites selected from Carney’s fabulous list. In bold are the amazing ones.

johncarney:

* Business casual was invented to prevent younger people from dressing better than their bosses. Rebel and wear and a suit or jeans.
* When a friend calls after a drunken night, never say, “You were so funny.”
* Avoid staying out past midnight three nights in a row.
* You can ignore the three-night rule if something really good comes up on the third night.
* Time is too short to do your own laundry.
* When the bartender asks, you should already know what you are ordering.
* Learn how to speak before groups.
* Yes, you do have to go to the gym.
* People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
* When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
* Do not spend very much money on sunglasses or umbrellas. You will lose them quickly.
* Eat brunch with friends every other weekend.
* Be a regular at a bar.
* Read more.
* And not just biographies.
* A glass of wine with lunch will not ruin your day.
* Learn how to fly-fish.
* Ask for a salad instead of fries.
* The first round of drinks is on you.
* When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
* It’s not that you’re unphotogenic. That’s just how you look.
* Do not use an electric razor.
* Keep rugs and carpets to a minimum.
* Subscribe to a small-circulation magazine.
* People will dance if the music is loud enough and the lights are dim enough. You should too.
* Throw parties.
* You may only request one song from the DJ.
* Take pictures. One day it will be fun to laugh at them.
* Yes, you do have to buy her dinner.
* Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
* If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid very loud clubs.
* Drink outdoors.
* If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
* You should probably walk away anyway.
* Place-dropping is worse than name dropping.
* The New Yorker is not a high-brow magazine.
* If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
* Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can eat at the bar.
* Get out of the city every now and then. The parties you miss won’t miss you. And you won’t really miss them either.